My mind was entertained for too long...

I'm saying too long but I don't really believe that anything that ever happens can be wrong – It came to being; it has its purpose.

Entertainment itself wasn't the problem. But it was a part of it. The problem was that I was neglecting my soul instead of nurturing it. I was stealing precious time and giving it to trivial and infertile thoughts. But it's not just about not entertaining my mind. It's about stop viewing and start observing and seeing. It's about me going back on track. It's about me not doing things that hurt my soul. It's about looking deeply into things. Dissecting them. Like a good pathologist who is doing an autopsy of a murder victim. They'll turn the body inside-out – so to speak – but they won't stop there. They will go deeper. They'll take DNA samples, blood samples etc. They'll look for abnormalities. They'll use tools. They'll look close and with great attention for any bit of information they can extract. That's the way of thinking I'm talking about. A depth of thought.

"Everything is connected.", "It's all one.", "Nothing exists on its own.", "As above, so below.". Those words might sound worn out – but again – it depends on how deep you go into them – or should I say – they go into you.

There's cause for everything; there's consequence.

When I look deep into media, movies, shows, sports etc. I see that they exist with the soul purpose to keep us deluded. To entertain our minds so we won't turn them towards everything that's wrong in our world. Because if so, we might actually see the solution instead of putting bandage after bandage on exponentially growing wound.

This knowledge changes the whole movie experience. So sometimes in order for you not to feel the contradiction inside – your inner compass pointing the other way – you suppress your awareness and watch from a lower state of consciousness.

We are watching but we are not seeing. That's why billions upon billions are poured into media, cinema and sports. Because beside fear they are the best tools that prevent us from growing.

And do you see the injustice right there?! People suffering. Dying from war, poverty and hunger. And people taking millions of dollars for playing a role or kicking a ball. Consciously or not, they are contributing to the sickness that causes the suffering of our world. And if we follow our own tread back, we are all contributing. The question is to what degree.

I'll use sports fans as an example. Those people – and I do not mean any offense – working hard to buy a ticket and yelling at the stadiums like if their very lives depend on the victory of their team, are tricked by the worse tricksters. Their drive and passion are being consumed by entertainments so they won't be focused on growth. On better understanding of the self. Of self love. Because understanding and loving of one's self means understanding and loving of everything. Such people don't fight wars; they deeply respect life. They don't sell their lives for career and profit. They undermine all of that. They undermine the monstrous system that devours our lives and gives us illusory feeling of happiness, when in fact our souls are screaming inside. Such people that have healed themselves, heal our world. They fight the "Great War". Guided by their hearts and armed with Logos and Art. Or by simply living their lives from a higher ground of morals, understanding and appreciation. And by doing so, shining their light into a world which is in desperate need of that blessing.

"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes."
— Carl Jung

The change of the whole starts with the change of the individual. You might not witness the outer world becoming a world of oneness and equilibrium – if you believe, that your existence is bound to your death – but you might not only witness but also live and be this oneness and equilibrium yourself.

"You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete."
— Richard Buckminster Fuller

I can appreciate the art of cinematography. Also, there are movies out there which I'm deeply grateful for, because they have enormous contributions to my spiritual growth. And sometimes it's not all about the growth and the long term, but about your present circumstances and your state of mind. Sometimes the laugh that some silly comedy can give you might be a much needed medicine. And enjoying a good movie every once in a while might be beneficial. As long as you see it through your high awareness. Then it's not entertainment nor escape, but another tool for your continues growth.

But if you trade your growth for it – by this I mean – Spending way much more time on entertaining yourself than you're spending on understanding yourself, you're making the worse deal ever.

After living unconsciously for two-thirds of my life, then "half consciously" for a number of years, I received the greatest blessing of my life. I became aware of the infinite nature of existence. A flow of life with no beginning and no end.

Dimensions in dimensions in dimensions in dimensions in dimensions in...

I got to experience some of them and their precious gifts for my soul...

~ And I found God ~

I know that a lot of people hearing someone talking about God are probably rolling their eyes while imagining an archetypal figure – an old man watching over us from the skies perhaps. That's not the meaning that I put into the word.

God is Everything that Exists. The Creator and the Creation. The Absolute. Ultimate Awareness. Consciousness Itself. He's observing the rock, the wind the blade of grass and he's the awareness residing in them. He's me. He's you. He's Experiencing his Creation Through Each One of Us. Differently. In some of us he doesn't believe in himself. In some of us he has the honor of meeting himself.

~ And God is Love ~

Pure Unconditional Love. And yes, he is all forgiving. That's what unconditional implies. Unless in man. Man are known to hold grudge...

I'm blessed for I felt the Loving Light of the Creator.
My Loving Light. And I was blissful.
My life was filled with awareness and clarity.
Clarity in my thoughts, feelings and deeds.

But it didn't last long. I started compromising. I started stealing time from myself and giving it to trivial things. I started switching off this great awareness. Every now and then, to a point that it wasn't present any more. And I wasn't even aware of that very fact. I became occupied by trivial things and "Ego treats". The chatter inside my head – we all have one, and it often sounds like us – was chattering on and on, day after day. Pretending to be me. Telling me lies. About who I am, what I think, what I feel. And when a lie was so way below me that it was obvious. I was saying to myself: "How can I think that?! That's not who I am!" And then the chatter was there to soothe me: "Those are just random thoughts that pop into your head. Nothing you can do. Nothing to worry about." And my soul went down the spiral, after being in such high state of clarity once. My soul was suffering. And that's the thing; You can't comprehend your own delusion and suffering until you're freed from them. Then you can look on them from higher grund and contemplate on their magnitude.

This state of mine was going for some time. And the contradictions inside of me were growing bigger and bigger and they were causing me even bigger confusion and irritation. But I was unable to comprehend that. My attention was on the symptoms instead on the cause. Those contradictions were occurring because once your mind's eye has been widely opened it can never be shut. And you squinting it is causing all sorts of division in the psyche. The brain is a marvelous thing, but with your permission, it can create some masterpiece illusions to put on the back of your eyes. And once you're sucked into the illusion, you can live in there for quite some time.

But then something seemingly small can bring the illusion down with a roar. Because it was already so cracked that it was barely standing...  Roarrr...

~ Bliss ~


 "Cosmic Artist'' by Alex Grey


What exists

And what will be

The I is to decide

We are the trees

We are the seeds

The very core

Of peace

We are the paint

We are the hand

GOD's masterpiece

Called "Self"

We kill

And kiss

Towards the realm

Of crystal clarity and bliss

Life is... Amazing...

And when we allow ourselves

To be amazed to our true capacity

Which is infinite and absolute

To feel and be

This pure unconditional love

And let it run through us

And heal our wounds and scars

Let it flow and manifest itself

In our thoughts, voice and deeds

And repair all which is broken

And find all who are lost

Then we'll all know

How to truly give and receive love

To see beyond our human site

And cherish the bliss 

Of being one with the whole

Eternal spirit of love

Knowing... Searching... Being...



((( Blessings fellow Beings )))
This is my prayer/gratitude, if it resonates with you, please feel free to make it yours
((( ❤️ )))

Life is beautiful
And I am beautiful
I am grateful for the path
I've walked so far
I'm grateful for this moment

If I experience any difficulties
or have tough time today
I'll be strong and I'll handle things
with positive attitude
I will be fine
I won't allow the less aware
part of myself to bring me down
Instead I will rise it up
I am making the conscious decision
to be happy
To elevate my spirit
and be kind to myself
To go deeper into myself
and listen well
To seek better understanding
and strive to unfold and experience
the truth in everything
To be aware of sickness and evil
but let them not poison my soul
I won't allow to be misguided
and pulled into false beliefes
I won't allow fear to enter my soul
I choose to be understanding
and compassionate
To assume less
To see God's light in people
And honor it
To enjoy the diversity of life
To respect and cherish
those dear to my heart
To love them unconditionally
To help the souls I encounter
and appreciate their help
To forgive others
as I forgive myself
for my misdeeds
I acknowledge that I don't always
live by those words
and I forgive my self for it
I still have a lot of layers to remove
And a lot of learning to do

I am grateful
I am growing
I am happy
I love you

Thank you _/|\_ ((( ❤️ )))


My New Little Beings
Второ котило "Животинчета"

Colourful Flower Pots a.k.a Little Beings
I'm making the pots from plastic bottles. On the bottoms I drill a few holes
so the extra water can leak through them. I'm using alkyd paint, acrylic paints,
and various elements for decoration. The pots are great for small and medium size flowers...
and they're always in excellent mood :)

''Животинчетата'' - Шарени саксийки
от пластмасови бутилки
Правя ''Животинчетата'' от пластмасови бутилки. 
На дъната им пробивам по няколко дупки, за да може да изтича излишната вода. Използвам алкидна боя, акрилни бои и различни елементи за украсата им.
Идеални са за малки и средни на размер цветя...
и винаги са в отлично настроение :)


New Year - New Inspiration
Вдъхновена е новата година :)

Carved Wood
A few years back I've made this for a beloved's birthday. I used a chisel
for first time and it almost cost me a finger. That wood drank a lot of blood :D
Maybe that's why in the end there was this face - 
kinda looks like a vampire or a werewolf :D

Дърворезба ''Сакатлък"
Преди време направих тази дърворезба за любим човек. 
За пръв път работих с длето и едва не ми коства единия показалец. 
Много кръв изпи това дърво :D 
Може би, за това се получи и този образ - има нещо 
сякаш вампирско или върколашко в него :D

Anyone can make Art
The freedom and the talent are in every each one of us. We just need
to trust ourselves. We need to be persistent and not to quit in the very beginning
when the walls in us are stopping our hands from going bold.
Be creative, smile and know that with every stroke of art
life becomes more and more prettier 

Всеки може да твори
Свободата и таланта са във всеки един от нас. Просто трябва
да имаме доверие на себе си и да не се отказваме в самото начало,
когато стените в нас, не позволяват на ръцете ни да се развихрят. Творете,
усмихвайте се и знайте, че с всеки нов щтрих животът става все по-хубав :)

Colorful jewels for grown up kids
Шарени бижута за пораснали деца :D


Christmas Cards
For last year's Christmas I've made these Cards for my loved ones.
I haven't made anything like this before so it was quite an adventure -
many different materials, techniques and colours.

Коледни картички
Миналата година, по случай празниците, изработих картички за близките ми.
Не бях правила нещо подобно и беше истинско приключение -
много и разнообразни материали, техники и цветове.

You can see the results in the videos below :)
Във видеата под текста можете да се запознаете с резултатите :)

*Be blessed not blassed :D

Painted Stone "Unity"
The stone is from the foot of the beautiful peak Musala.
I usually don't carry stones in my backpack but this one caught my attention.
I've painted it with acrylic paints, but I didn't hide all of his natural beauty :)

Изрисуван камък ''Единство''
Камъка е от подножието на прекрасния връх Мусала.
Нямам навика да си нося камъни в раницата, но този ме грабна -
идеален за рисуване. Изрисувала съм го с акрилни бои,
но не съм скрила цялата му естествена красота :)

Here's a short video from the process:
А ето и кратко видео от процеса на работа:


Colourful Flower Pots a.k.a Little Beings
I'm making the pots from plastic bottles. On the bottoms I drill a few holes
so the extra water can leak through them. I'm using alkyd paint, acrylic paints,
and various elements for decoration. The pots are great for small and medium size flowers... and they're always in excellent mood :)

"Животинчетата" - Шарени саксийки
от пластмасови бутилки
Правя ''Животинчетата'' от пластмасови бутилки. 
На дъната им пробивам по няколко дупки, за да може да изтича излишната вода. Използвам алкидна боя, акрилни бои и различни елементи за украсата им.
Идеални са за малки и средни на размер цветя...
и винаги са в отлично настроение :)